Found: New Airline Charges by the Pound

Fly Derrie Air

When opening the Philadelphia Inquirer yesterday (actually, my wife saw it, I rarely open an actual newspaper), I saw a full page advertisement for Derrie-Air. So I went to their website to learn more:

Mission Statement
Derrie-Air is the world’s first carbon-neutral luxury airline. We will offer our passengers the finest luxury experience in all the world’s skies and the freedom to enjoy it with a clear conscience.

As it turns out, they will base the rates on the weight of the passenger and baggage! Only $2.25/lb. from Philadelphia to Los Angeles!

And I was amazed by the available amenities!

What amenities will your jets offer?
First of all there will be no class distinctions inside of a Derrie-Air jet. Every passenger will be treated like royalty. Every seat will be first class. There will simply be too many extras and treats on our flights to list here, but highlights will include: gorgeous air hosts and hostesses, golden-age Rat Pack films, top-shelf vodka Martinis, on-demand video blackjack, spacious private washrooms outfitted with porcelain fixtures and gilded faucets, gourmet snacks, on-board masseuses, loofah scrubs and, of course, digital cable!

Please note that this was a joke, although there actually was a full-page ad in the Philadelphia Inquirer and there is a website, although there is a note at the bottom to let you know that it isn’t real. Quite a bit of fun though.

So what would you do if this was real? Post your comments below…